Whenever I am asked whether my wife "works", I have to choose my words carefully. The reason? Although my wife is not employed outside the home in a conventional "job" where she clocks in for eight hours a day, for which she would receive money, she definitely works VERY hard in her role as housewife / homemaker / home executive / stay-at-home mom / psychologist / transport manager / CEO (what DO you call these precious souls nowadays?).
So when I received this e-mail this morning, it was a stark reminder of just how MUCH work our wives who "don't work" actually do. Therefore, if you are a guy and your good lady is not employed outside the home, and you are feeling a bit resentful about having to go out to the salt mines each day, just consider what could happen if the roles were to be reversed...
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through, so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the cheque book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.
Then it was already 1 pm and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 pm he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he somehow managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were."
"You'll just have to wait nine months, though - you got pregnant last night."
Thank you, Lord, for sparing me from this hell! And thank you, Belinda, for putting up with it without complaint, going about your daily chores "as unto the Lord". You are truly the greatest gift that God could have ever given to me.