God's Word for today

Monday, 12 May 2008

Countdown to Synod...

After nearly two years since I first felt my heart "strangely warmed" with God's call to full-time ministry - wrestling with the call, meeting with the Superintendent, the Circuit Quarterly Meeting, a truckload of paperwork, registering with TEE College, more meetings with the Superintendent, attending pre-screening, the Essay on Methodism, the screening itself, then two trial services - it has all come down to this: the 2008 Central District Synod, where I am to present my conversion, call to preach, and call to ministry, before a listening committee which will then determine whether or not the Synod can recommend my acceptance as a probationer minister.

I have never felt so scared in my entire life!

I'm not scared in the "is this the right decision" sense, for in the last two years I have experienced a growing conviction that there's nothing on earth I want to do more than serve God as a minister of His Gospel. Rather - as my previous post indicates - I am scared that I will mess up. As an accountant, there was no mistake that I could make that could not be fixed with a journal entry. As a minister, such "mistakes" cannot be fixed so easily, since I will now be entrusted with the spiritual welfare of God's people. The responsibility is immense, and I often get the feeling, "Why me, Lord? There are many more worthy than I."

All I can do at this point is to ask God to keep my heart pure, and help me remain true to His call. The rest of the "stuff" will hopefully come with training and experience. The butterflies are wreaking havoc with my innards at the moment, so please pray that by the time Synod convenes in just under two weeks time, they are at least flying in formation!

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