After yesterday's plaintive post appeared on this blog, I was called into Ross' office in a pastoral attempt on his part to arrest what was shaping up to be the complete unravelling of one of his seminarians. And while I won't go into detail concerning our discussions, I give thanks to God that there are still ministers in our church that have truly pastoral hearts. I'm especially grateful to Ross for taking the time out to help me through this process, particularly given his already hectic schedule in running the seminary. His pastoral care will be cherished by me for years to come.
But now it's time to start picking up the pieces and moving towards me gaining a little perspective here. The first step in this process is for me to earnestly and prayerfully seek God - remembering not only that God called me to this ministry, but also reclaiming the faith and trust in God that carried me through the past 24 years of being a Christian. "Re-establishing that base of faith and assurance of God's love and care", as Ross puts it. Part of this process is also to get me to a place where I can "let go and let God".
Clearing the decks is also an important part of this healing process. And while I must confess that I was feeling totally overwhelmed at the beginning of this week, the fact that I have (finally) managed to sort the insurance company out (after some harsh words were exchanged between me and Hollard's management), as well as having just printed out the fifth assignment this week (out of a total of six) is already causing the heart to lighten a little.
Please pray for me as I work at trying to regain that "first love" for God.
Listening is the beginning of prayer - "God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer." - Mother Theresa This is such a simple, yet profound idea. So often we be...
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