Feeling flat

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6: 9, NIV

Last week I reported being "man down" with flu, but I thought that three days of enforced rest (thanks, Bill) would restore me back to health. And having missed the Local Preachers' Retreat this weekend (at which I was supposed to conduct two services), I was really looking forward to doing the evening service on Sunday.

As it turned out, the service ended up being a quest for survival, and by the time the service was over, I was finished in more ways than one! Last night's youth service (which launched Youth Week in the Northern Societies) went somewhat better, although I was still somewhat subdued by my normal standards. And it wasn't entirely due to my current state of health.

This week the Connexional Executive meets, followed by Conference which starts tomorrow. And at the risk of sounding selfish, these two events mean just one thing to me right now - an end to the limbo of not knowing whether I'll be in Uitenhage or Pietermaritzburg next year.

Right now there's just too much hingeing on this decision. My personal situation aside, the Circuit has many loose ends as well. Right now there is a blank preaching plan for the next quarter on my desk (covering November 2009 to January 2010), which cannot be drafted. We have a 2010 budget meeting next week, and my presence (or absence) will have an impact on the final numbers. Not to mention the fact that in three years the staffing will have gone from 2 ministers, 1 deacon, and a phase one, to 1 minister, 1 deacon, and 1 phase one, to 1 minister and 1 deacon.

But most of all, I'm not sure whether I should be preparing to say goodbye, or gearing up for next year.

In the meantime, life goes on. There is the daily work of ministry, which is what keeps me sane at the moment. In some small way I honestly believe that I'm having some impact on the communities I serve. Then there is the phase one college, of which we officially have only 9 weeks left. And on the 14th of October I have an exam (yuck - I don't do exams well. Give me a research project anyday!).

So right now my batteries are feeling rather flat as I wait for the "proper time" to "reap the harvest". I mustn't give up now - I just need to rely on God to give me strength and renewed energy.