God's Word for today

Tuesday, 1 September 2009


This evening I lost it a bit with my fellow Phase Ones, because they were being a bit noisy in their chatter. Curiously, though, I'm not quite sure why the raucousness is bothering me now, when it hasn't been an issue for the past eight months.

Maybe the fact that I'm feeling a little low right now is part of it (see previous post). The other problem is that while some of us are trying to get some work done, others who have different work habits are using the same time slot to blow off some steam.

On the other hand, the thought of being at College next year and having to deal with the noise of campus life - especially if it's after 8:30 on a school night - is bothering me, because I can't see my family and I putting up with two years of that.

I REALLY need to stop feeling so negative about College. If I'm sent, then I'll go, and there is an undoubted opportunity for academic and spiritual formation if I do go.

But then I look in the mirror and see the face of a 40-year-old man looking back at me, and I realise that I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a married man. I have a child of my own. I've also had my own house for 20 years, with nobody telling me what to do or who I can entertain or when I may or may not be away, and nobody yelling and getting raucous at all times of the day.

And that's what I'm going to have to put up with, for two years. All I want to do is to get on with the work of ministry. Campus life was cool 22 years ago - today, you can have it!

I'm getting too old for this!

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